Earlier this year, I was completely shocked when K told me that Sam was going to a military program for 6 months. Not long time ago before this shocking news, Sam accidentally killed Cal’s pet bird. Cal was diagnosed with autism and struggled with daily life especially social life. That bird was his best friend. The death of the bird must be very heartbroken. I could not help to connect these 2 events together since they happened in the same period of time. In addition, Sam was a lay-back kid. He was inactive and always stay in his room playing video games. No one could expect a teenager like him to go to military training willingly. Maybe something very bad happened but K’s mother didn’t tell us.
With all these doubts and speculations, I finally met Sam this Thanksgiving. He grew even taller and actually gained some muscles. Bald head of course, his posture was way better than before. I was surprised to see his change. After talking with him for a bit, I realized that he was much more mature than I expected. He told me that he decided to go to this program so that he could graduate from high school. He was struggling at school. I was pretty sure that he did not have drug problem or other severe behavior issues. Probably he was not interested in academy. Recent years I started to realize that some people just could not do well at school regardless how hard they tried.
In addition, I learnt about his program. The program was called freestate challenge, a military training program funded by the state government. The teenagers would live together in a military base and complete the military training. 61 kids slept in a common room. Every morning at 5am, they woke up to do physical training, usually running a few miles and some weight training. In the afternoon, they took some lectures with the teachers. 3 meals were served at a fixed time and everyone had to finished in 30mins. No soda, coffee or any other drinks were allowed. Snacks were allowed. At night, the kids spent free time themselves but they were not allowed to bring cellphone, laptops, video games or iPad. Sam brought some comic books. It was not too bad as these days we all suffered from the short focus and often got distracted. He complained that he didn’t get good sleep because of the noise at night. I can imagine the energy of teenagers. Sam mentioned that some kid stole his watch. Obviously some “bad” kids with some behavior issues went to the program. No wonder such program existed. Sam seemed to cope with it well and was not bothered with it to much.
Having lived in US for more than 10 years, I was completely turned into an individualist and liberalist. Such training program seemed too crucial to me. It reminded me of a few terrible organizations in China that “helped” kids to be less addicted to the video games etc. This program seemed way better than those. At least Sam did not look like a teenager that completely lost trust in family or in his own life. But the obedience required in a military was nevertheless associated with tyranny and totalitarianism. It killed one’s spontaneousness turned human into machine.
I was relieved after conversing with Sam. He was still that gentle kid. He said he didn’t like school and wanted to work. He already found a job which would pay him a decent amount of money. In his room, a huge TV took the entire wall. Sam proudly presented to us this TV and said he bought it using the cash from reselling some of the old stuff on facebook marketplace. He planned to buy in some old furniture to repaint and then resell in the future. It was a good business idea. K’s stepfather was a handy person and worked on the construction his entire life. He built a huge barn to store all sorts of tools. Sam could utilize those. Sam also got a truck and could help his furniture resale business. I was amazed by his ability to put everything in order at such a young age. When I was 17, nothing like that ever came to my mind. What still made me sad was that Sam had terrible parents. His father died of over-dose. His mother abandoned him to his grand parents. Fortunately K’s parents treated him well and he grew up as a good kid. I thought this kid would have grown up like any other kids, graduating from high school, attending collage and finding a job. But it was not too bad overall. I admired him to know what he liked and wanted to do and make decision to move forward. Maybe that program did not only discipline kids.
Before we left, K’s stepfather invited us to attend Sam’s graduation. Although we didn’t plan to have another trip this year, we still decided to go and show our support. This Friday, we headed south to attend Sam’s graduation.
Entering into the stadium, “spartans” logo was hung up in the hall way. Sarcastically, when the US imaged the country self as the lighthouse of democracy and echoed Athens, Spartans were promoted in some corners and jumped out to claim the legitimate. It was cold that day. A few dozens of teenagers stood in a row with fixed distance outside. They all wore the uniform and black musk. I could not help thinking that wearing musk was another obedience test in 2023. Where else in this land of the free that musk was required? K’s mother asked me if I saw Sam and I told her not. She was surprised and left a comment: He is pretty obvious, tall, blonde and white. I did not fully understand what she meant until all the cadets ran into the stadium. Only 2 white kids. The rest were all African Americans, Hispanic and Middle East descend. Majority of them were boys and a few of them were girls. I looked around at the guests and realized that I was the only Asian and K’s family was one of the few white families. My stomach was unsettled when the young cadets were shouting the same words loudly and acting like robots. Military, war, kill, all these words kept showing up and reminded me of the deep rooted cruciality of human being. With all these continuous conflicts, murders and wars in this world, was it fair to even train the young people to be ready or even part of it? What was more hilarious, the head of the tutor prayed before the ceremony commenced. Lord may your mercy shine on all these ugliness of human being? Continuing to echo Athens, in addition to Spartans, now the one and the only God was part of the ideology. Plato could be stunned to see such a self-conflicting combination.
The first speech that impressed me came from the secretary. He was a tall, fit and handsome African American. He shared his experience growing up with a single mother and living in poverty. He mentioned that his mother worked as cleaning lady and had to work all day. At night, he was with his mother to clean the office building. At a very young age, he knew to help his mother to straighten the chairs and tide up the desks. He really wanted to help his mother but he was too little. Later he realized he did not want to become statistic, — average young African American growing up with a single mother ended up in jail. One school with similar military program accepted him and he decided to go. Later he went to Afghanistan and Iran and successfully brought back everyone back home even though he did not agree with the war. He went to university of Maryland majored in business and now lived a successful middle class life. He was such a humble and sincere person. He did not address his own success all to himself. He attributed partly to his mother and partly to the military program provided by the government. I was moved by his life experience but had a complex feeling. Now we all knew the Afghanistan war was a complete failure with so many people died and money spent and nothing changed. Did the solders ever have choices? Did some lives worth less than others?
The second speech was from a boy graduated from the program. His father was an alcoholic and died suddenly of drunk. He described the moment his father died he felt void. He did not shed a single tear but felt completely numb. A huge void devoured him. Soon he started to use drug to fill his void but the void just became bigger and bigger. Someone from the family recommended him this military program and he decided to participate. During this 6 months, he was really changed. The teachers and mentors helped him to recover from the trauma and grow more confidence in himself. Later he requested his mother to stand up and thanked her sincerely. I was crying seeing such a moment full of sensation. His mother must also have a hard time. Maybe it was not totally bad for these young people to have some degree of self-discipline and get back on track. Their situation was much, much worse than I could even imagine. I believed that they deserved a better life ahead of them.
A young girl gave the third speech to share her experience. She again had a broken family and grew up with single dad. At school, people called her as stupid, dumb and even retarded. She got bullied at school but nobody listened to her. She said she lost her voice. She grew up without much understanding, friendship or any positive influence. Later she decided to participate in this program. During the 6 months, she gained friends with whom she can share her feelings and be understood. She also made some progress in academic classes and gained practical skills like AEP license etc. After finishing the program, she gained confidence and believed she could achieve her goals. At last, she thanked her father and her aunt. Her father looked proud. He should. I hope she could be happy and do things she likes.
All 61 kids, now cadets, graduated from this program. 1/3 of them decided to go to college, 1/3 of them would join military – hopefully no war in the future – 1/3 found a job. Compared to who they used to be, the results turned out not too bad. At least they all learnt to be self-discipline. I still criticized this type of program but I should hide my judgement towards the humanity and truly applaud for what they had achieved. Even in this environment where obedience was only necessary, these young people still could think and make decision. They were not deprived of individuality. Even the secretary openly criticized the Afghanistan war. My disappointment mainly lied in the fact that some of the poor kids might go to war and force to kill and be ready to be killed. It was just not fair. When you were born into such a terrible situation, there were not many available options left. Being brainwashed to serve the country was one of the better ones. It was a failure of a society as a whole to fail these poor kids. It was never their fault. Every “bad” kid had a terrible family and a bigger social issue. It was heartbroken to witness so many poor kids suffering in real life. They all deserved a second chance.
Fortunately Sam was not brainwashed. He seemed determined at what to do in his life – make a living independently and figure out the rest. Hope the kids who chose to serve the military and others live a happy and successful life. To be happy the most important, to succeed next.
Nomadland 